waiting for growth

The paper chain is shrinking. The whole purpose of the chain was to symbolize to the kids the countdown till when we go home.

It turns out, the chain has been more for my benefit than for theirs. The first six weeks of this TDY flew by. I loved everyday of it and I felt as though the kids were really benefiting from being here. I feel as though I've done a complete 180 this past week. Suddenly, the little things are starting to get to me. I'm tired of paying to do my laundry, I'm tired of having to use a swipe card everytime I come or go, and I'm tired of feeling as though the walls are closing in on me. I'm just ready to go. The problem is, we still have one week left. Monday morning I wasn't sure if I'd make it till the end. I was seriously debating heading home with the kids and just throwing in the towel here. Feeling discouraged, I took everyone over to a local park to play. Shortly after we arrived, someone else pulled into the parking lot with several kids. Immediately I felt more discourgaed. The last thing I wanted was to feel obligated to talk with this lady while our kids played. And, knowing my Sam, I knew he'd introduce himself before they even got in the gate. She unloaded her kids and then went around the other side of the car and got out an infant carrier. As she set the carrier down on the bench she commented on how she'd waited so long for the baby to be born, that she missed the chance to take advantage of how easy travel was without an infant. She wanted to be out of the 'waiting' period so badly, that she missed the things that are found only in those periods of waiting.

I'm in a waiting period right now. I am anxious to go home but I have to wait. The time has not yet come. This is a frustrating place to be and I find myself here often. Whether it's waiting for a baby to be born, waiting for test results, waiting for that wretched 4-7pm time frame to pass (you know that time when everyone's crying and hungry and you've run out of activities and just want to look at facebook), or waiting for the days on a calendar to pass, I've come to see how waiting does have a purpose.

Last night I read a quote from Henri Nouwen that said:
"There are a lot of good things that can be said of parenting a child, but the greatest gift you can give your child is the gift of you being a growing person yourself"

And what better time to grow, then during this waiting period. This thought has transformed my thinking as I wait out my last week here.

Rather then focusing on when we can leave, I'm trying to focis on what the Lord might want to teach me, or grow in me, during this circumstance in my life. God is always at work in our temporal circumstances to bring about his eternal purposes. As I wait, I feel my convictions are being strengthened. I've heard it said that people respect people with convictions. You may get tested and challenged for your beliefs and behaviors, but overtime if you are consistent people may not agree with you, but they will respect you. I really believe that God speaks through our life circumstances. My immediate season is one of real waiting. Waiting almost to the point of complete bordom (serioulsy, how many times can you go to a park and watch to make sure your 18 month old doesn't fly off the bottom of the slide, or, pretend that you really are amazed at your 5 year olds so called 'x-ray vision'). I crave the social interaction of my girlfriends at church or having a cup of coffee with my neighbor. I miss my friendships deeply. But in this season of waiting, the Lord is whispering things to me that I might not otherwise have heard in the chaos of my life. And that whisper could quite possbily get drowned out again in the days after we return home. And so, I wait(to be back home with child locks) -- hoping that obvious growth is taking place in the process that my children can see and model.

Still Happy Together

50 days in a hotel and we're still all friends!! Our days have been full lately and we are taking in everything we can during our last days here. Saturday morning we headed up to Mount Vernon to see George Washingtons house. We weren't sure what to expect in terms of stuff for the kids, but it ended up being a completely worthwhile trip! We walked through his mansion, saw where his slaves lived, looked at the rows and rows of gardens, and enjoyed the view of the Potomac River.

Sunday we went down to the National Habor. Our first stop was the Gaylord Hotel. The kids were actually speechless as they walked in and saw how big it was. It was like a city unto itself. All they wanted to do was ride the glass elevator watching all the events unfold below them.

Everyone is beginning to wind down here now. I have started packing a few bags up and we are slowly starting to clear out. Since our living space is so limited, we have had to become a little creative at times. To reduce chaos, we have the kids sit by the door once they are ready to go. Anna is still working on this:)

We are looking forward to next weekend and the National Cherry Blossom Festival! It will be a great way to finish out our time here.

The One Essential Thing

Yesterday while I was driving to Wegmans (yes, they do have Wegmans here - two of them!), I was listening to a preacher on the radio talk about "the one essential thing". He was referring to the quiet time a person has with the Lord before the day begins. Typically I don't listen to sermons or talk radio much, it's not really something that captivates the kids, but this message caught my attention and I listened intently.

I've been thinking a lot lately about spiritual disciplines and how I can implement these more into my life. I often use the excuse that, with little kids, my quiet time is extremely limited, if not non-existent. I was convicted as I thought about how diligently I set aside time each morning back at home to spend with the Lord, but somehow, I've lost my mojo lately. Tim changed his work schedule slightly and he now leaves at 7am each morning (beating the traffic). This means that we both get up earlier. The last three mornings I have feasted on my alone time with God before the rush of my day begins -- it is without a doubt, the one essential thing to my life. I'm thankful for the times when my children see my faith as being strong, but I am also learning to be thankful for those times when they see me stumble. Their hearts are so receptive to what Tim and I model for them. Sometimes, no words are even necessary -- just actions.

Just like the changing of seasons, my moods during these mothering years change. I struggle at times with discontentment. Not towards my husband, or my life, just a general longing for something more. A clarity in my role during this season. I long to write a book, go to a Proverbs 31 conference, have another baby, teach at a christian school, start a new MOPS group - anything but stay where I am. Ultimately, I am longing for the one essential thing. As Tim and I have talked through these things, we decided to come up with a vision for our family. In the same way a company casts a vision for success, we are casting a vision for our home. John 15 talks about the relationship between Christ and believers. A simple illustration of a vine and branches is what Jesus uses to explain to his disciples the importance of staying closely connected to him. The value and need of abiding in Christ -- dwelling in his presence. The vine has two types of branches. Branches that bear fruit, and branches that don't. There is nothing in between.

" If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples" John 15:7-8

I want to bear fruit. I want my children to bear fruit - genuine, real fruit. The vision that we have for our family is to carry forward the work Jesus did. To simply carry it forward. To pass the torch of truth on to our children that they may go forward and learn to live lives that bear fruit. And that may mean seasons of restlessness for me. It means sacrificing my time and energy for the good of my home. But at least now there is a target, a vision that we are working towards.

This past week we celebrated Sam's 5th birthday. When I was writing my thesis I was pregnant with him. I poured over research articles that talked about how the first five years of a childs life are some of the most critical foundation laying years. And now, he has passed them. What a blessing children are and yet, what a responsibility! So now I look forward with renewed passion to my 'one essential thing' in order to guarantee my ability to carry forward the work Jesus did.

In the blink of an eye, twelve days have passed...

I can't believe how quickly our time in DC is going. I am so thankful for time we've had here and the experiences we are able to be a part of.

Last week we took the kids for authentic Mexian. Tim and I love Mexican food but the kids have never really enjoyed it. Our compromising point with Sam was that he could drink (lemonade) from a margarito glass. He is facsinated by what he calls 'fine things' and never hestiates to ask the waitress/waiter for his drink in a wine glass. Julia is the best kid to take out to dinner. The girl will eat anything and she's willing to try any new food. She destroyed her taco's and then polished off Tim's dish. This night was also the first time we let Anna try a booster seat instead of a high chair. She seemed to like being at the table beside the kids. All in all our Mexican experince was a good one. Aside from the food, this restaurant also allowed the kids to take a tour of the kitchen with the manager. What a great teachable moment as we took the 'behind the scenes tour' of a restaurant kitchen.

Living in Washington DC has provided us with more cultural diversity than we have ever experienced. Even having grown up in Canada's Capital, I have never interacted on a daily basis with such a melting pot as I have this past month. I've often reflected on how easily children make friends. It doesn't matter where you come from in their eyes, as long as you are willing to run around and play Superman or Tinkerbell, you are a friend. Last week Sam met a boy in the playroom at Chick-fil-a, and this week we have a playdate with them. The mothers name is Preet and she is from India. Honestly, I've never really had a friend from India. But our nationalities don't seem to matter when we're talking about kids and family life. My eyes are really being opened to the world outside my front door and I am loving meeting people from all over the world.

We've become close with another family that is staying here at the hotel. Ryan and Jenny have two kids the same ages as Sam and Anna. Ryan is in training for the DSS (Diploamtic Secret Service) and they are looking to head over to Africa once he graduates. I've talked with Jenny at length about taking a young family overseas. This idea fascinates me as well. As Tim and I have wrestled with the idea of homeschooling, we have always felt that life experiences are so much a part of education. To have the chance to expose your children to the world while they are young and receptive is an incredible opportunity. I have to admit, as I hear Jenny talk about their plans, I do have a twinge in my heart as I think of the possibility of Tim taking a Legat position overseas. But, then my indecisive nature kicks in again and I feel myself retreating to the safety of my house back in Victor. I love my house, I love my neighbors, I love my church and community. I feel blessed and I am so grateful that my heart is content.

Today was a beautiful, sunny, 60 degree day and we spent most of it around the Tidal Basin and at the Monuments. I am cherishing our family time these days. We had three kids in three years and we are just now beginning to be able to do some tourist things with relative ease. I love the ages my kids are at now and they are a pleasure to take out. The planes fly so low over the Lincoln Memorial and everytime one went by (about every three minutes)

Anna would get to so excited, point and say 'what's that? oh boy!" She is our blonde, curly haired, blue eyed gift and she is coming into such a nice age.

The countdown is on now - four days until Grandma arrives!!

He kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile...

Tim found an old Johnny Cash CD in his car last week and has been playing it for the kids whenever we're driving.  Sam's favorite song is 'Boy Named Sue'.  I remember listening to those songs with my dad when I was a kid, too.  There are many similarities between the man my father was, and the man my husband is.  The gentle demeanor and loyalty to family are traits that I hope my son takes into his marriage one day.

This past week has been full.  We are exploring our surroundings more and more and each day we discover something new.  These things aren't always good.  Up until this point, Doogan (our puppy), has remained a quiet, non-barking animal.  One afternoon when I was taking him out for a walk he turned from quiet puppy to yappy, barking, out-of-control dog!  He went crazy when he saw a young boy playing basketball and I couldn't get him to shut up.  Here I am trying to jockey two preschoolers and a wandering toddler, and this stupid dog is going crazy.  Whether it was embarassement, or sheer frustration, I took everyone back in to lock the dog up in his crate and gather my wits.  No sooner were we in the room when Anna made a dash for the open door.  As I scrambled to get her back in, yep, you guessed it, Doogan ran right out the open door and down the hotel hallway.  So, you can see my predicament.  Do I chase the barking dog, chase the running toddler, or help to preschooler crying "Mom! I have to go pee".  All that to say, Doogan will be beginning dog obedience training Wednesday night.  I will take him each week from now until we leave to go home.  I hope for his sake he's a quick learner.

I've been thinking a lot about the importance of effective communication.  One area of personal weakness for me, is lack of confidence.  I can all these great ideas in my head, but I hesitate to move forward with them.  I would rather avoid confrontation with people and I fear that often prevents me from achieving things.  Most of the housekeeping staff here speak very limited English.  After I discovered that they really don't know what I'm saying most of the time, I stopped engaging them.  Sam, on the other hand, has no idea that they can't speak English.  All he cares about is that they are willing to listen to him.  And they do listen, the listen with their eyes, their smiles, their nods.  Like the old saying - communication is 90% listening, 10% talking.  I am being challenged to be a approachable person.  I don't want to be so wrapped up in my own world that I miss those around me.  I need to make a conscience effort to look beyond my table of three little faces to those that I might be able to minister to in some way.  I know the Lord has us here for a season, but also for a reason.

Good-bye Tyson Corners...

Last Friday night we threw in the towel at our first location and moved everyone again.  The two story loft unit was just not working with three small kids and a dog.  We've moved to a great first floor, two bedroom unit about five miles from where we were.  This is working out so much better.  There is a great courtyard just outside our room and the laundry facilites are a mere two doors away!  We have underground parking and kids love the staff here.   The main manager is named, Robert.  Every morning Sam asks if he can go see Robert and 'hang out'. Yesterday Anna broke a wine glass and, of course, that was the first thing Sam went running down to tell Robert in the morning.

Sunday we took the kids on the Metro for the first time.  I find it facinating to see my kids personalities develop in public situations.  Sam had no hesitations whatsoever about standing beside a large ditch with train tracks among many, many complete strangers. He talks to everyone and gives them every piece of information possible.  We weren't on the Metro two minute before he'd told some rather 'sketchy' passenger that Tim sucked his thumb till he was twelve.  Julia took it all in from the safety of being next to Tim.  She didn't want to get down and certainly didn't want to interact with anyone. Anna quickly found that she could scream in the tunnel and it would echo -- Anna is really into screaming these days.  It's an annoying little phase that the older kids think is funny.

The Smithonians were good, the best one being the Natural History Museum where we saw the Hope Diamond.  However, the winning activity of the day was running up and down the grass at the National Mall.  We hope to head down to DC again next weekend and take in a few more sights -- what an incredible city!!

We Made It!

It only took eight hours, four stops, two sick kids (one of which was sick all over the floor of a public rest stop) and a busted windshield wiper --  but we made it!  I've decided to blog our eight week journey in an effort to stay connected with friends and family back home, as well as have something concrete for my kids to look back at.  I already miss my house back home, or maybe more the familiarity of it, but am determined to make this experience the best it can be!


Our unit is great and everyone is settling in well.  Sam has already introduced himself to the staff and has become quite friendly with 'Rosa' (an older Italian lady) who works down in the foyer.  I love the way that children can really brighten up someone's day.  Even after being here only a short time, Rosa looks for my kids and makes sure to pay special attention to them.  She's never too busy to talk about jewels and treasures with Sam or repeat the word 'hi' with Anna.  I feel as though she will become very special to us in the weeks ahead.

I have purposed in my heart that this time away will be a time of complete dedication to my God, my husband and my children.  It is such a unique blessing to not have to worry about the regular obligations I have, I am free to invest in the things that matter the most to me.  That's the reason I've decided to name the blog 'trust and obey'.  I sing that song every night to my children and pray that, if nothing else, they come to a genuine faith in Christ and that they will trust Him with their lives.

I'll post pictures once Tim shows me how to do it!!